


love is a four letter word

by charleybradburies



Series: Destiel Week 2015 [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aftermath of Violence, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brothers, Character Development, Community: 1_million_words, Dean-Centric, Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Families of Choice, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Injury, Injury Recovery, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Slash, Male-Female Friendship, POV Dean Winchester, POV Male Character, Relationship(s), Requited Love, Slash, Tumblr: otpprompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 03:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3713584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleybradburies/pseuds/charleybradburies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>DESTIEL WEEK PROMPT: DAY THREE: RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT AND/OR PARALLELS</p>
  <p>Dean struggles with telling Cas that he loves him.</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	love is a four letter word

**Author's Note:**

> A) Written for day three of [Destiel Week 2015.](http://agentroxylancelots.tumblr.com/post/115676058869/dailydeancas-dailydeancas-presents-destiel-week)
> 
> B) Combined with the OTPPrompts Prompt: Imagine person A lightly tracing “I love you” over and over again on person B’s back, assuming that person B is asleep. When person A is lying on their back, getting ready to sleep, person B moves closer and wraps their arms around person A, whispering softly, “I love you too.” Bonus if that’s the first time person A has ever declared their love for person B.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! xx

The first time Dean almost says _those three words_ they get caught in his throat along with everything else.

 _The case is over,_ Cas tells him. _We handled it. You don’t need to keep apologizing just because we didn’t figure out who the vampire was soon enough to not get hurt. What matters is that you’re okay, Dean._

The words are nice and so very Cas, but they hurt. They sting, he can’t help it. Cas has no idea what he’s trying to say. Dean gets that, and he stops pushing - letting his injuries heal takes enough of his energy. 

* * *

The second time, Sam fails to realize what’s going on. He’s too used to Dean and Cas getting “mushy” for a “just because” card to feel like something major, even with a heart on it - he apparently thinks it’s sweet - so he sticks around like usual. Dean doesn’t have the guts to shove Sam off, especially since he’d asked to make dinner with some recipe he’d found online, and they all spend the evening together as though there’s nothing different at all about that day. 

By the time Dean and Cas actually get time alone, they’re all heading to bed, and it’s futile for Dean to try to say just about anything once Cas’ hand slips underneath his shirt, so he doesn’t bother.

* * *

The third time, he has to stop himself, because they are in the middle of a fight and this is _not_ how he wants this going down. 

If Cas didn’t understand why Dean wanted him to stay inside the bunker when some son of a bitch was out there freaking hunting fallen angels, so be it. Dean wasn’t going to tell him why, not when he wasn’t going to hear it.

* * *

The fourth time, he spits the words out, but it’s all wrong. His tone, the context, all wrong. It doesn't sound serious at all, and Cas smiles, but that’s not serious either, and they both shake it off. Dean drinks himself to sleep that night, for the first time in a long time. 

* * *

The fifth time, he tries to be prepared. He even makes actual reservations at an actual nice restaurant because hey, it’s Cas, and while restaurants where he doesn’t know which freaking fork to use are entirely not his thing, Dean knows that Cas deserves the best. 

Dean’s only just thrown one of his FBI ties around the collar of his dress shirt when Charlie and Meg show up injured, with a coven on their tails, and Sam volunteers to call to cancel the reservation so that Dean can hold his ‘baby sister’s’ hand while Cas gingerly cleans and sews up her wounds. They’re worse than any she’s had before, and she has to down three Advil and half a bottle of whiskey to fall asleep at all, so when she dozes off curled up in his lap, he decides just to slip his shoes off - it takes twenty minutes since he’s so intent on not waking her - and he doesn’t actually get a chance to talk to Cas about anything, other than how the ladies are doing and what the plan of action is in regard to the witch bitches, for days.

* * *

Charlie and Meg have been at the bunker for nearly two weeks by the time Dean feels comfortable leaving Charlie alone at night. Every time she’d been seriously injured on a case before, she’d had horrible night terrors, and he is _not_ willing to chance her totally freaking out or hurting herself. 

It’s almost weird at that point, sleeping in his own bed, next to Cas, in the boxers he usually sleeps in (he’d worn actual pajama pants with Charlie) and even having Cas pressed up against him, curled up in his arms, doesn’t assuage the worry he still has about Charlie. He finds it just about impossible to get to sleep, so after a while he contents himself with just lying there. 

There are a couple things he can think of doing that would make it easier for him to get to sleep, but since Cas is already down for the count they’re out of the question. 

It’s not unusual for Dean’s fingers to wander about Cas’ skin when they sleep; he thinks that their having not shared a bed in too long gives him permission to be slightly more handsy. Only slightly - not enough that Cas wakes up, but just so they are as intimate as he can manage.

Eventually, he starts playing around - stroking, tapping, swirling his fingertips against Cas’ warm, soft skin.

He should say it. Tomorrow, he should say it. Screw trying to make a moment happen. Maybe he’d do it in the morning, wake Cas up with a kiss and say it once he was awake enough to register what Dean said.

Cas mumbles a bit, and rolls onto his stomach. Dean readjusts himself and then puts his arm back around him. 

He starts to trace the words, one by one, on Cas’ back. There’s only three of them but they’re so freaking hard to say - it was supposed to be a pivotal moment in a relationship. Pivotal moments in Dean’s relationships implied someone was checking out.

He’s written it a couple of times when Cas starts to move again, this time rolling back towards him, stopping only at the natural stopping point of being immediately in front of Dean, their breaths colliding with one another. Dean wraps his arm differently, holding Cas against him this way. It wasn’t difficult - Cas was nearly always a fairly restless sleeper. He rolled around and was way too easy to wake up.

Cas leans forward, and when a hand of his comes to rest upon Dean’s arm Dean realizes he’d woken him. He considers saying sorry, but Cas has pressed his lips against Dean’s cheek and tilted his mouth back to his ear, so obviously he had something to say, too. Dean was whipped - Cas always got dibs on that sort of thing.

“I love you, too, Dean.”


End file.
